Tag Archives: Child abuse

The real Boogie man

24 Oct

 

…….The app on my phone is called  The Offender Locator by Life 360.  It lists and maps all of the sex offenders/pedophiles in my area.  I look at it weekly.  My kids know not to open the door while I’m taking a shower.  They must not open the door to….. anyone. They cant even go to look who it is. They can only watch PG rated movies and I make sure they have veggies on their dinner plate every night to protect them from malnourishment. Even if its just lettuce…I try. I warn them about talking to strangers . My 4 yr old knows our home address along with the BTWN streets.  He knows to dial 911 in case of emergencies.  I look under the bed for the monsters before bedtime and adjust the night lite so the shadows wont come alive while I’m gone.  I put sunblock on them ..especially in the summertime to protect them from skin cancer.(even though many people of my color find it useless)  I scowl at the people who smoke in the playgrounds.  I cover my babies ears when a shouting match turns into angry verbal abuse.  I told them about the bad men who broke many lives in half when the Twin Towers fell.  I even tell them about the neighborhood crack fiend …to stay away from him.  I prefer their friends to come over my house than they have play dates in some one else home. I’ve been having discussions with my daughter about peer pressure and real friends VS. friends not worth her time .  I told her about the guys who stand at the corner all day….everyday.  I told  her about drunk drivers and why its so important to pay attention when she crosses the streets.   She has a special way to walk home from school to keep her away from the drama of the streets.  I taught them about their bodies and about sex (age appropriate of course).  I try to warn them about all the boogie men and Boogie women outside of the home …because in the home with their parents they are supposed to be safe…..right? We are supposed to do everything possible to protect them from the real boogie men. The people they see everyday. The people whom they trust. The people who  they look up too…. A family member perhaps. It is part of  the Job description of being a mom…of being a dad.

What happens when this Job isn’t done and the child suffers?

My mom said “sometimes the Boogie man is right in front of our eyes and we have to protect our children from those who THEY trust the most”

Food for thought

CC

CC

Ways NOT to Knock your child out.

3 Mar

The other day while in the Laundry Mat I was forced to ask God why he had punished me gracefully with such a child….. They say mothers get 3 fold whatever they did to their mothers when they were young.Well, I had a bad temper. I thought since my eldest didn’t have any tantrums except once when I Thought I put her in place; she never did it again. I thought I was safe from the Tantrum Monster ( saying it like a ghost…or how a ghost would sound?? or how it sounds on T.V……whatever) anyway I found out this week that my already BAD mischievous/stubborn son had a Huge Temper!! Too big for his little 38 pound frame could handle…. WTH!?!

Let me explain. I was in the laundromat, taking out the clothes from the dryer. My son approaches me and asks for his Super Mario Candy when he reaches home. No prob! I said and I tell him to have a seat. Next thing ,I hear an OUCH!! my daughter proceeds to tell me how he kicked her in the shin. “Neo” I say, “you know better”. As I’m speaking him to he tries to talk over me and tell me his side….Did you hear that guys??? He is yelling at me/talking over my voice. Then I realize I have had enough of this attitude and tell him that because of his behavior he is NOT to get his candy when he reaches home……I turned my back to continue retrieving the clothes out of the dryer (Hey!! I had a lot of clothes!) He begins to SREEEAAAMM… not cry, scream.. then I hear TWO big THUMPS followed by gasps from fellow launderers. MY son….yes my one and only son decided out of his anger and distress; he was going to bang the back of his head onto the glass window………………………………………………………………………

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……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….before I knew it I was around the Folding table ,my hand grabbed his collar and I was somewhere in the laundry mat telling him about himself and how he betta stop screaming by the time I count to 3. ( the countdown was actually for me because I was sooo pissed!!!) I felt so disrespected so embarrassed, so not in control! he stopped. And we had a little talk. Talk?? some may say. Yes Talk…we talked. I didn’t think slapping him upside his head was the proper thing to do at the moment…matter of fact not at any time. I am learning that hitting is not always the best way of Discipline (unless they crash your new Mercedes into the Garage with not even a drivers permit)…Plus I didn’t want ACS coming to my house. Later on in my house (8min later) he reluctantly(when I say this I mean he started screaming and crying..again) walked to his Timeout Chair. As he sat down I went and put myself on a mini timeout. Why you may ask? Why did I need a timeout? Because I needed to keep myself from going overboard …in other words from what I call Mom crazy. You see it is easier said than done to keep your cool when your child is not. Yes I know the child is …well, a child. But stress along with tantrums can really push a person over.

Here’s what has worked for me:

Ways not to knock your child out.

1) Make sure your child is in a safe/secure place, go in the bathroom and turn the faucet on high to blurr out the crying. Count to ten as much as needed. When frustration decreases. Confront the problem as the controlled parent.

2) Get your headphones,place them over your ears and blast your favorite song.

3) TALK, TALK TO YOURSELF, TALK TO A FRIEND, TALK TO YOUR CHILD (even if they are infants) Just TALK it can actually very calming.

Here’s an article I thought might be useful.

Are there any more ways to keep calm while your child is in a tantrum Mode??

PLEASE SHARE You might actually save a life…. No really.

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